30 Days of a Thankful Heart { Days 27, 28, & 29} Moments of Joy, Melodi, and Mom

Let me start by saying I am not thankful for being sick the week after Thanksgiving.  I am especially not grateful that my sweet baby boy has been sick as well.  Horrible cough, fever, congestion, and draining, double ear infection makes for a miserable baby and miserable mommy.

I am however, grateful for access to good healthcare, doctors, and medicine to help alleviate the illness crud that has kept our family sick on and off for almost 3 months!

YUCK!

So, I have fallen a few days behind (again) in my thankful posts.  Let’s catch up, shall we.

30 Days of a Thankful Heart {Day 25 & 26} Gratitude and Grace

Yesterday was a beautiful, holy day.  Despite waking up from too little sleep with a throat that was on fire and a head that felt like an elephant was sitting on it, the day was wonderful.

We celebrated this little guy’s baptism at our church.  Yes, I cried.

My littlest tiger after his baptism

Papa Tiger performing the baptism

Yes, yesterday was awesome, despite feeling physically lousy.  We celebrated with family and rejoice that our son, Kasen, is baptized and covered by God’s grace.  We would need that grace.

30 Days of a Thankful Heart {Day 10} More Time

It’s 10:30 Saturday night.

I planned on getting so many things done today.

Then it took me TWO hours to fall asleep, I was on night-shift with Kasen, and didn’t actually get some sleep until after 5am! So my day didn’t start until 10:30.

Not what I had in mind.  I guess I should have gotten up and done something when I couldn’t sleep at 2am.  Meh.  Nope, I lay in bed, trying to clear my head and let slumber sweep me away.

10:30 and way behind, so I did a quick, condensed work-out in the bedroom, freshened up (yep, no shower to save time), threw on a hat and some make-up, and gathered some DVD’s that were overdue at the library.  EEK!  I then begged Micah to go on a Mommy/Son date with me; library, McDonald’s, Walmart.  Who wouldn’t want to go?  My 3 year-old son, that’s who.  He told me no.  He wanted to stay home with daddy.  I begged/bribed a few more times.  No dice.  I left.

I received a phone call about two minutes later, just as I was pulling up on the library (small town folks).  Micah sweetly asked me to come back home and get him.  Daddy must have guilt-tripped our little monkey.

Micah Man is 3!!!

My sweet Micah, you are 3 today!

All your Cheesy Smile Glory

Time has flown by as it seems like only moments ago your daddy and I were cuddling you as a newborn.

Newborn Micah

You are not the baby anymore and you have embraced your role as Big Brother with all the grace and gusto one would expect of you.  You love your brother, Kasen, fiercely, sweetly, and with wonder.  Your favorite question since we brought Kasen home has been, “Is Kasen okay?”  Yes, my sweet boy.  He is, despite your best efforts to “love” him to pieces.

The “touching” side of your love for Kasen

You, Micah Man, have taught me so much, not only as a mom, but as a child of God.

1) Be Joyful: You have an incredible smile that will no doubt melt more than your mommy’s heart one day.  Your laughter remains one of my favorite sounds in the world and your daddy and I take great pleasure in tickling you just to illicit this joyful noise.  You find great delight in small things and you love to share it with anyone who will look.  You truly have never met a stranger and will go out of your way to say hello to everyone.  You have recently started saying everyone is your best friend.  I hope, my love, that you will always take the time to say hello and to befriend even the random person you meet in the grocery store parking lot.  Your joyful heart is truly a gift.

2) Patience: Your Grams thought she had a tough time raising me.  Then she met you and she says I have met my match.  You are incredibly headstrong and determined to do things on your own, in your own time, and your own way.  This will hopefully serve you well in the future, but it sure does put you and I at odds quite often.  You allow me to practice the art of patience everyday and you are learning it right along with me.  The first time you got so mad and hurt when mommy and daddy told you something you didn’t like, you pouted, said you were going to your room, and you ran to your rocking chair.  And you just sat there.  You blew us away as you demonstrated an amazing ability to reign in your emotions and come back out once you felt better.  You still have your meltdowns (and they are doozies), but you still prefer to go be by yourself until you cool off.  We can all learn a thing or two from you on this! I pray that we can channel this determined and strong spirit into a mighty heart that is sure of himself and his gifts.

Straw Survival

Each day is exhausting and I’m drowning.   I feel like I am bailing myself out with a straw.

Okay, so a straw and Diet Cherry Dr.Pepper are helping with survival

I don’t have any money to make an adorable fall wreath or even the energy to arrange my fall décor.  And it makes me feel like a failure.  My house is beginning to feel like it’s aiming for a spot on hoarders (ok not even close), but the bathrooms are dirty, clothes are piled up, and crumbs were being carried off by ants (literally), until the bug guy came out.  If we get the dishes cleaned, and the toys somewhat contained, we consider it a victory.  It all feels like too much and I’m not enough.   My worry over not enough of this and too much of that is consuming my joy day to day.  I am finding it hard to focus on all the good amidst the clutter of my heart.

I’m clinging to a few things right now.  I have started working out with a great group of girls every weekday morning.  We meet from 5:30-6:15 (Yep, A.M!) and are led by a few girls who completed GFit.  We have jokingly nicknamed it Equate GFit since it is sort of a generic form of the popular workout.  We don’t pay in $, but believe me, we pay in sweat.  I’m so grateful that I asked to join the group and convinced my friend to join me.  I am even more grateful that I have gotten up to attend, although I am somewhat less than grateful when every movement causes me to grunt in pain.

My boys are another source of hope, love, and grace for me. Even when Micah has tested every boundary possible and Kasen refuses to stay asleep longer than 30 minutes, I am grateful to have two precious boys to love.  I’m not a perfect mom by any means, and most days feel like the furthest thing from it, but I am trying.  The other boy I couldn’t make it without is my husband.  Aaron loves me enough to stick by me.  He helps out so much with the boys and the day to day operations.  When he sees me at my limit, he is quick to step in and give me a little while to regroup.  He is truly my prince and my other half.

The other source of strength right now is the daily devotional I have been reading.  It is much easier to find the time for this when my day begins at 5am!  I have been devouring the words that the ladies over at Girlfriends in God share and it never fails to speak directly to my heart.  I have the GIG app on my phone so I have access to devotions wherever I am.

Today’s scripture particularly spoke light and truth in the darkness of my heart.

10 Scriptures to Soothe Mommy’s Soul

(Fair Warning: This is a lengthy post.  My lack of posts has built up and is now overflowing.  Read it through…it’s worth it.  I’m also biased!)

Yesterday (Sunday) is often considered to be a day of rest.  Sabbath.

Not so in my world.

We are a ministry family.  My husband is the senior pastor of our church and that means Sunday is a work day, and not just for him.  I’m currently the children’s ministry director and even when I am not teaching on a Sunday, I am checking in with leaders, counting little heads, hands, and hearts, and collecting the change in our Children’s Change Jar.  By the time the service is over and we have fellowshipped with as many congregants as possible, chased our almost 3-yr old son  all over the sanctuary (altar rails, chairs, stage…), and consoled our now cranky almost 4-month old, we are wiped out.

But the day isn’t even over!

If it’s a good day, I will have a delicious crockpot meal simmering in the slow-cooker.  The scent will tantalize our tastebuds as we drag in through the front door.  We can sit and eat in relative relaxation for a little bit, but let’s be honest; we haven’t had a relaxing meal on a regular basis in almost 3 years.  Hmmm, why is that?

If it’s a fantastic day we will splurge and endure the craziness of eating out with two children under the age of 3 and indulge in Mexican food.  Pass the salsa and chips please!

Yesterday was a good day.

I had dinner on low and slow in the crockpot so we had gourmet turkey sandwiches for lunch.  Micah (the 3 yr. old) wanted PB crackers and squeeze fruit.  He ate the fruit and pushed the crackers around his plate.  He was hungry later.  Not surprised.  All was normal and even calm in the Tiger house.

Then it was time for naps.

It needs to be said that Sunday afternoon naps are a sacred and time-honored tradition that Aaron and I treasure and have made a priority in our relationship for the past ten years.  Come hell, high water, or a second kid, we will have our Sunday nap.

Unless there is a football game on.  Or a ministry meeting.  Or a family function.  Or a preschooler with a stubborn streak a mile long.

You get the picture though.  We don’t just like our rest.  We NEED our Sunday refueling nap to sustain us through small groups, meetings, and any other church event that might be scheduled.

Aaron took Micah back to his room to settle down for naptime.  I was nursing Kasen, ready to swaddle that little bug and get him drifting off ASAP so Mommy could settle in for a long Sunday snooze.

Both boys had other intentions.

Micah dug in his tenacious little heels and refused to settle, sleep, or even stay still.  I was tagged in to take over for Aaron.  Kasen was handed off smoothly with no fumble.  Micah cared for the change in coaches about as much as the NFL is loving the fill-in refs.  He yelled, he screamed, he kicked, and he flopped.  If the Emmy’s handed out an award for Best Dramatic Tantrum, he would have it in the bag.

We ignored him.  We talked calmly and soothingly to him.  We carried him back to his room and shut the door (that does not have a lock?!) I held him tightly in a loving hold to stop the flailing. We gave him options.  We attempted to reason, reward, cajole, and bribe the child to stop throwing the fit.  We FAILED!!!

I even attempted singing a new temper song we had learned just that morning watching PBS’ Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, even though I knew I was messing the words up.  “I’m so mad I could roar, but instead I’ll count to four.  One. Two. Three. Four.”  Something like that.  It even seemed like that was working.  Until it wasn’t.  The fit resumed in full force after a few calmer, shuddering breaths.  I should have sung the song to myself a few times.  After a slap in the face (my face), elbow to the stomach (yep, mine), and a scream in the ear (mine too), I lost all my patience and my mind for a moment.

Savage Mommy Tiger roared.  Right in the face of her little tiger cub. 

From Storms to Smooth Sailing

Hello sweets!  I know that it has been an extended absence on my end, and while I apologize for no new posts, I desperately need some grace.  I’m struggling to find my place, rhythm, and routine since Kasen’s joyous arrival into our lives, and this blog has been a casualty of that wandering war.  When I have found moments where I might put my “pen to paper,” I find myself utterly lacking in inspiration, leaving my blog stagnant but my draft box burgeoning.

Even in the midst of the struggle there are great rays of light and I give thanks.  I am learning to embrace the content life, but in this I am not my usual fast learning self.  I have found a friend!  Yay!  I will fill in those details later.  She has been a true blessing and I am enjoying the moments of growing together.  We walk early in the morning 4-5 x’s a week and it is not only good for my body, it is water for a parched soul, just getting to spend that hour communing.

But there is still longing; still fixing, healing, restoring that needs to happen.  There is the discontent that I am trying to stare down.

Facing the storms of life head on

As I was making my way through my incredibly long list of blogs I read, I stopped by the ever-gifted Leanne Penny at leannepenny.com and was once again blown away at her words and the way she always seems to reach right in to my heart and pour in hope and grace.  She was writing today about connection of the husband and wife variety; the very kind I have been missing so much.  She threw down a connecting gauntlet and idea sharing challenge.  Read about that here and contribute your own connecting tips and insights.

This was my response….

Hello World

Kasen Cross Tiger arrived Friday morning, June 1, at 9:27 am.  He is already an incredible blessing for our family and we are loving every minute with him.

Kasen Cross Tiger says hello

Kasen was delivered via C-Section and was 7 lbs. 4 oz and 19 1/2 inches.  He is incredible and on his way to being as big a charmer as his big brother Micah.  I adore watching my boys begin to interact and love each other.  Holding them both in my arms was an amazing feeling.  I look forward to playing with them both and watching them develop into the incredible souls God has created them to be.

I am recovering slowly from my C-Section and hope to be up and about without much pain soon.  So far it has been a better experience than my last C-Section recovery, apart from a couple bumps.  I am excited to take, edit, and share more pictures soon, but need to focus on our little family and my recovery right now (as my loving, doting husband reminds me!)

Hope you are all doing well.  Enjoy the few pics for now.

Big Brother enjoying the local splash pad

Getting to hold Kasen for the first time.

My sweet Kasen

Our little foursome

Micah is being such a good big brother. He loves giving gently kisses on Kasen’s forehead

 

Gracefully~~Heather

What to Wear Home

When I found out I was pregnant with Micah one of the first things I purchased for him was his going home outfit.  It was a sweet little one-piece sleeper with vintage Tigger and Pooh on it.  I loved it instantly.

Apparently it was asking too much for that to happen again!  I searched and I searched, yet nothing caught my eye and I was not falling in love with any outfits for Kasen.  It’s not that we didn’t receive tons of adorable and love-worthy outfits as gifts.  We did.  I love them and am STILL working on all my thank you notes.  I just wanted the going home outfit to be something I or we (Aaron and I) picked out lovingly, hand-selected.

Finally, inspiration struck when we did DIY onesies at my Baseball Baby Shower (pics still pending!)  I knew I wanted to ‘hand-make’ Kasen a onesie he could wear home saying, “No Place Like Home.”  I didn’t get a chance to make anything at the shower, but I received a really cute onesie with a monkey holding a baseball bat, and I thought, what a fun play on words and I could have the cute image to boot!

Big problem; the iron-on letters would not fit around the design.  I was so sad, and so quickly running out of time.  I looked and looked for another onesie, preferably with color to put the letters on.  It was not happening!

So, what to do the night before we leave for the hospital?  Pull out the plain, white Gerber onesie and hope there was still a cute decal in the booklet we used at the shower!

Here is what I came up with for Kasen’s going home outfit (and with help from my mom who ironed for me!)

I really like how it turned out.  I decided to add the initials at the last minute to the bottom; Kasen Cross Tiger.  Obviously, with an actual cross representing the C.  I plan on pairing the onesie with some simple gray pants.

I think he will look pretty darn cute!

What are your thoughts?  Experiences with your own going home outfits?

Gracefully~~Heather

Interview with Big Brother

The big day is here!  It is Kasen’s birth day!  He should arrive by C-Section around 9-10am (CST).  We are all so excited to finally meet our new little man and start our journey as a family of four (with me totally outnumbered by males!)  Since I will be a bit preoccupied over the next few days weeks years, I figured I would schedule this fun little interview with the new Big Brother, Micah.  I was trying to keep him entertained the other evening as Aaron prepared dinner.  Why not interview him?! He put up with me long enough for the following:

1-     Are you excited about being a big brother?  YES Mommy! (Said in a very high-pitched squeal.)

2-      Do you know what a big brother is? No. (Blank stare)

3-      What’s a big brother? I don’t know.  Kasen? (He asked me!)

4-      Is Kasen going to be your little brother? Hmm MM (He began losing interest quickly)

Apparently, he was multi-tasking during his interview!

5-      Where is Kasen? (Points at my tummy in between bites of Cap’n Crunch cereal which he calls Mima trix* and ‘reading’ a DVD ad) In Mommy’s tummy!*My Mima gave him the cereal at her house one day and he has since asked for and referred to it as “Mima Trix.” Go figure!

6-      Are you going to help Kasen?  Yes, go to the park. (Um, ok?)