AAA of Marriage

I cannot claim credit for the catchy post title today.  I stole it directly from my morning devotion app, GIG, Girlfriends in God.  The very gifted Sharon Jaynes penned the devo, AAA Club of Marriage, and it really spoke to my heart today; my husband heart.

Marriage Survival Tool Kit
Photo courtesy of theweddinggals.net

Jayne states that the AAA of marriage is adoration, admiration, and appreciation.  While she does say that these things need to flow both ways, her focus is on how a wife can build up and love her husband by living those three principles on a daily basis.

Easy right?

Ephesians 5:33 has this to say:

“³³ However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].” -Amplified Version

I’ll be honest, I have always chafed quite a bit under biblical directives to submit to the husband.  I come from a long-line of strong matriarchs and slide into the role of domineering wife easily.  I am letting God work on me in this area; softening the rough edges and sharpness of tongue.  However, this is not what this verse focuses on.  It is lifting up the virtues of adoration, admiration, and appreciation, for both husband and wife. 

From Storms to Smooth Sailing

Hello sweets!  I know that it has been an extended absence on my end, and while I apologize for no new posts, I desperately need some grace.  I’m struggling to find my place, rhythm, and routine since Kasen’s joyous arrival into our lives, and this blog has been a casualty of that wandering war.  When I have found moments where I might put my “pen to paper,” I find myself utterly lacking in inspiration, leaving my blog stagnant but my draft box burgeoning.

Even in the midst of the struggle there are great rays of light and I give thanks.  I am learning to embrace the content life, but in this I am not my usual fast learning self.  I have found a friend!  Yay!  I will fill in those details later.  She has been a true blessing and I am enjoying the moments of growing together.  We walk early in the morning 4-5 x’s a week and it is not only good for my body, it is water for a parched soul, just getting to spend that hour communing.

But there is still longing; still fixing, healing, restoring that needs to happen.  There is the discontent that I am trying to stare down.

Facing the storms of life head on

As I was making my way through my incredibly long list of blogs I read, I stopped by the ever-gifted Leanne Penny at leannepenny.com and was once again blown away at her words and the way she always seems to reach right in to my heart and pour in hope and grace.  She was writing today about connection of the husband and wife variety; the very kind I have been missing so much.  She threw down a connecting gauntlet and idea sharing challenge.  Read about that here and contribute your own connecting tips and insights.

This was my response….

Enough for Today

It’s May 1.  When I found out I was pregnant, Aaron and sat down and looked at all we would have going on near our due date.  It was a lot.  Our church’s 10-yr celebration weekend, including an open house, birthdays, our 7th anniversary, Mother’s Day, and our denomination’s annual conference, on top of all the daily work and tasks.  Not only were all these things on the horizon, there was a lot of preparation we had to do in order for these things to happen.  We decided that we needed to set a goal to have as much as possible prepared for Kasen’s arrival by the beginning of May, so that when the busyness really hit, we wouldn’t be in anxiety overdrive.

Guess what?

Didn’t happen.  Guess who is in anxiety overdrive?  This girl, and I know Aaron is just as overwhelmed by the church and also wanting to give his best at home. I know neither of us was planning on me being sick for much of the pregnancy, and it just has not helped.

I was up late last night for multiple reasons, like heartburn, uncomfortableness, and also I could not shut my mind down with all the things we still need to do to prepare for Kasen, get the house ready, and again, just stay on top on everyday tasks.

I’m still dealing with this sinus infection which has sidelined me for the past few days, and this morning was not looking bright.  The anxiety had not diminished overnight, so as I sat down to do my devotion, I simply prayed that God would give me a few moment’s peace.  He did that and more.  Ask and you shall receive, right?

Here are a few of the things God led me to either during my devotion or right after that have helped carry me through the day so far.  I turned on the satellite Christian station to let God sing over me, calm my soul, as I surfed the web of His grace.  It is truly enough for today.

 

From my devotion at Girlfriends in God by Sharon Jayne: “Her lamp does not go out at night…” (Proverbs 31:18 NIV).

Tent Grumbling

I have not been sleeping well.  Between the heartburn and not being able to get comfortable, despite being surrounded by tons of pillows, I am feeling the effects of lousy sleep.  I feel that dark cloud creeping overhead.  The anxiety of all that I still need to get done around the house and to prepare for Kasen’s arrival is crowding out happy thoughts.  I am becoming Mrs. Grumble. (Anyone else read these books as a kid?  I loved Miss Sunshine!)

As I was forcing myself (yes, I grumbled), into reading my devotion this morning, I felt like God was on vacation.  “Hello?  Are You taking an extended Spring Break?  Did you forget about little me?  Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.”

This was the scripture I read on Girlfriends in God:

“¹³ But they soon forgot what he had done
and did not wait for his plan to unfold.
¹⁴ In the desert they gave in to their craving;
in the wilderness they put God to the test.

²⁴ Then they despised the pleasant land;
they did not believe his promise.
²⁵ They grumbled in their tents
and did not obey the LORD.”

Psalm 106: 13-14, 24-25

And there it was; God’s not so subtle response to my grumbling.  I was sitting there, grumbling in my tent, and God was more than happy to point that out.  I have been grumbling because I’m tired, stressed, and a bit overwhelmed.

Who isn’t?

You is Important: Day 28: Lent Journey

Image copyright of Heather Tiger

” ⁷ or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ”

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10

Aibileen Clark, one of the main heroines from The Help, faced great trials and persecution.  She felt weak; yet she was made strong.  She had great faith in the midst of struggles.  She never forgot that she, and those she fought for, were worth every minute of pain.  She knew her value and the value of others, even when told there was none to be found.  She was worth the fight.

Do you know you are?

Simple Gestures

Valentine’s Day at our house was a pretty quiet affair for most of the day.  Partly because I was away in Tulsa picking Micah up from an extended weekend trip to his Grams’ house, and partly because Aaron and I had decided to save money and skip gifts and cards this year for one another.  Whenever we go this route on V-Day, as we have a few times, I always find myself torn between saving that money and my desire to give.

I love to give gifts.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to receive them as well, but giving always brings me great joy.  Seeing someone’s face light up when they open the perfectly selected gift, especially if it is an unexpected one, is just one of my favorite moments to experience in life.  I’ve said many times to Aaron that I wish we had more money so we could give more away, in both monetary and gift form.  However, having a child has changed my perspective a bit on gifts.

How many of us have seen the ornaments, framed items, and other keepsakes bearing our tiny hand and footprints that our parents and grandparents have lovingly held onto all these years?  I have, and I have even been given a few to hang on our Christmas tree as heirlooms.  Most of these items are cheap, but they are cherished.  I know I absolutely love the hand-print turkey Micah made that is still adorning our fridge in the middle of February, in all its toddler splendor.  I helped Micah make some paintings on small canvases for the grandparents this previous Christmas at a cost of about $5 each and I’m pretty sure they are loved quite a bit.

What is it about these simple, inexpensive, often free gifts that make them worth keeping?  The thought behind the gift.  It’s the love, effort, and thoughtfulness that make them special, and it is the fact that they come from people we love that make them worth holding on to.

So back to Valentine’s Day 2012 at the Tiger house…. Micah and I had made it back home after a nice day of visiting Mima and we managed to beat Aaron home.  He had decided to run some errands in the “big” town, which almost always has to include a trip to Walmart to get essential items when you live in a town sans Walmart.  This time it was dinner, water, and prenatal pills (what a guy!)

Side Note: I had also made a trip to Walmart while in Broken Arrow that morning to get a small box of chocolates for my mom. A thanks for watching the in-to-everything toddler so we could do some major organizing at home.  I debated on whether or not to splurge and get Aaron a card and some chocolates at least.  I stuck to our agreement though and came home empty handed, apart from a re-acquired child.

Once home, Micah got to open his present from Aaron’s parents, which resulted in his lovely Valentine picture that went out via text to all the “ladies” in his life.

Micah was very excited to see his daddy and greeted him at the front door, and then went outside to “help” carry in some groceries.  On his return trip he was carrying one single, long-stemmed red rose which he happily handed to me saying, “Here, for Mommy.”

A simple, inexpensive gift given from the man I love, brought to me by the sweetest love of my heart.  For me, it was more than enough.

I guess I’ll forgive him for breaking our deal!

What simple gifts have you given lately?

The Five Year Mark: Thankful Thursdays

Five years ago I said I do.  I do promise to love and cherish, support and help, trust and rely on, honor and protect, and give my heart to Aaron Christopher Tiger.  I’d do it all again.

The past five years has seen us live in 3 different houses and towns, 2 states, 12 different jobs between the two of us, 1 Masters degree, 10 months of pregnancy, and 7 months of a new life.  That doesn’t include all the hopes, dreams, losses, gains, changes, friends, fights, hugs, kisses, challenges, adventures, and journeys that define us as a couple.

It has been worth every little moment and each momentous event.  I would not trade a second of my life with Aaron.  We are at the end of one journey, ready to embark on a new path, and I am grateful I get to share this with my best friend.  We don’t know what the next 5 years will bring, but we will face it all, together, trusting in the One who created us for each other.  God will guide us, grow our love, and give us all we need to follow His path.

We are eager to continue this journey of parenthood; watching Micah grow and become his own person.  We hope to raise him with a heart for God that surpasses his parents.

Feelings can ebb and flow, but it is our choice to love one another each day and love God first, that sustains us and will carry us through the next 5 years and far beyond.

I love you Aaron.  Thank you for everything.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

My Love