I cannot claim credit for the catchy post title today. I stole it directly from my morning devotion app, GIG, Girlfriends in God. The very gifted Sharon Jaynes penned the devo, AAA Club of Marriage, and it really spoke to my heart today; my husband heart.
Jayne states that the AAA of marriage is adoration, admiration, and appreciation. While she does say that these things need to flow both ways, her focus is on how a wife can build up and love her husband by living those three principles on a daily basis.
Ephesians 5:33 has this to say:
“33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].” -Amplified Version
I’ll be honest, I have always chafed quite a bit under biblical directives to submit to the husband. I come from a long-line of strong matriarchs and slide into the role of domineering wife easily. I am letting God work on me in this area; softening the rough edges and sharpness of tongue. However, this is not what this verse focuses on. It is lifting up the virtues of adoration, admiration, and appreciation, for both husband and wife.
It’s not about submission to my husband’s will over me as much as it is submission to the call to love my husband as God desires. So the triple A’s should come from the overflow of my love for Aaron. I need to be the place, after God, that he comes to for support, encouragement, and love. If I am not telling him how amazing he is on a regular basis, he will look someplace else, whether at work or others.
I need to tell him that I appreciate all the ways he takes care of me and our family. He needs to hear that he is strong, brave, smart, sexy, and the man of my dreams, and not just on our anniversary and Valentine’s day.
Instead of tearing him down with yet another criticism that he “never picks up after himself,” I need to build him up and praise him for those many things he does do, like the dishes. Trust me, your husband usually knows the areas in which he falls short, just like we do. Constant, nagging reminders do nothing but break his spirit and the marriage bond down. I mean, how good do you feel after a nagging session? Yeah, awful. I know. I’m trying to move away from that way of living.
How much do you want to see your man glow? Go ahead and tell him how tremendous he is at_____.
The next time his shoes are left out or his piles build up, take a deep breath, look the other way, and compliment him instead. It will feel weird at first, but soon it will flow freely and beautifully, from sugared lips and a full heart. You will both feel so much better!
So, Aaron, bear with me, even in this, as I love you more and knock you down less. Here are 13 reasons you rock!
- You are so handsome! I often find myself staring, wondering how I got so blessed.
- You are an amazing father to Micah and Kasen. Seeing you love our boys melts my heart.
- You do the dishes, often without any prompting.
- You help do the laundry, including folding!
- You make me laugh, everyday.
- You listen to and value my dreams.
- You enjoy talking with me for hours (when we are in the car)!
- You are an amazing Pastor and man of God who helps strengthen my faith.
- Your sports knowledge aptitude blows my mind!
- Your love of The Ghostbusters and Back to the Future movies is so cute.
- You appreciate my ministry gifts and see me as your partner.
- You sing and play the guitar, and you do them well! (Swoon)
- You love me, flaws and all.
So, how can you build up the one you love today? Do you need to renew your membership to the AAA of marriage? I just re-upped mine!