Where Are You?: Day 19: Lent Journey

15 Mar

 

 

“God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful- I can’t take it all in!”

Psalm 139:1-6, (The Message)

One of Micah’s favorite games to play is Hide And Seek.  He’s almost 2 1/2.  He’s not the world’s best hider.  We have been playing the game with him since around his first birthday, and he has gotten much better.  One of us use to have to hide with him, and constantly remind him to be still and quiet.  This usually lasted all of ten seconds before he was wiggling away to go find the seeker.  Then he was able to hide on his own, though his constant giggles would give his position away frequently.  Now, while his choice of hiding spots may not be a surprise, he has learned to be still and quiet when hiding.  I know the day will come soon, when Micah discovers a hiding spot that stumps Aaron and I, and we will walk around the house, calling his name, hoping he answers before I panic and call in reinforcements.

Hide And Seek is a game most of us learned to play at an early age.  It’s also a game many of us think we can play with God.  However, we tend to enlist the Hide only version of the game, hoping God will not seek us out.  Or we wonder if God is seeking us.  I know there have been many times in my life when I ran from God, hoping to hide something I had done.  I knew better; I knew God would seek me out, but I ran anyways.  If I close or cover my eyes, and can’t see God, He can’t see me, right?

Here’s the thing; God is the ultimate Seeker.  God knows you, your inmost being, your every thought, and He loves you.  We run and hide from God because we feel ashamed, angry, bitter, broken, hopeless, lost, and unworthy.  But God is still right there with us, even in our darkest hiding spots; He knows our thoughts and longs to bring light into the darkness.

No matter where we run, or how much we hide, God knows exactly where we are, and He waits.  He lets us come to Him.  He calls to us in the midst of our hiding, and wants us to know it is safe to come out.  There is absolutely nothing scary enough about what we may think we are hiding, that will keep God away, or cause Him to leave us.  No thoughts we have, no words we speak, no actions we do, could be enough to keep God’s love and grace from us.

All we have to do is stop hiding and He will be there, waiting.

************************************************************************

*Before I get into Day 19’s Daily Step, I need to apologize for not posting yesterday.  “For all fall short of the glory…” Actually, I started feeling really sick Tuesday evening and awoke Wednesday much worse.  Nauseous, dizzy, and barely able to stand.  Fun times.  My head was in no place to think straight, let alone share any words of wisdom.  While, I’m doing a bit better today, I still am not 100%, but I’m hoping to get two posts done to catch up.  I enter the 3rd (and final) trimester today of this pregnancy and I’m hoping this will be the last bout of sickness.  Prayers are appreciated!*

Day 19’s Daily Step from Holly Wagner’s book, Daily Steps for God Chicks: The 90-Day Devotional for Real Women, is to describe the stage of life you are in.  Write it down, tell a friend, say it out loud to God.  Then thank God for being with you in the middle of this stage.  Thank Him that you don’t have to hide anything because He already knows and loves you.

The stage of life I am in is one of anticipation and waiting.  I feel like I am waiting on so many things, and trying so very hard to let God work things out in His timing.  Patience is a virtue I am growing.  I am waiting for a friend.  Still feeling lonely, though not quite as much. I’m still waiting for the feeling that I am where I am supposed to be.

I am waiting for a breakthrough in my writing career.  I’m trying not to get discouraged when my numbers aren’t high on the blog, (and I see others with thousands of views), or when inspiration won’t come.  I’m taking comfort from words of encouragement others have spoken to me, and I press on, trusting God.

I am waiting for the arrival of our second son, Kasen, due June 7th.  I am trying to turn over my fears and insecurities about having a second child.  How will I handle being a stay-at-home mom to two, when I feel like I can barely manage one? I eagerly await Kasen’s arrival.  I also am treasuring this time with Micah, and using it to prepare my heart, mind, and home for another little boy.

I am waiting to uncover my purpose.  I’m taking things one day at a time on this journey; one step at a time.  I’m trusting God’s wisdom, guidance, and grace to set my feet where they need to be.  I am allowing Him to shape and form me into the woman He has called me to be.

He’s not finished with me yet!

Where are you in your life?  How is God meeting you there?

Hope to see you for Day 20!

Gracefully~~Heather

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