The word submission can be a touchy one for some Christians, especially of the female variety. Tragically this word has been bent and twisted into cruelty and created brokenness in many lives, both for those submitting and those demanding submission. However, submission, when filtered through the grace of God, actually longs to heal brokenness and calm chaos. Submission first and foremost to a loving God breaks in at our weakest points only to realize that it is through submitting these weaknesses to God that He makes us stronger, more loving, more truly ourselves.
You might think it odd that I start off my blog with a lesson on submissiveness, but it speaks straight to my heart. You see, it is my submission that God has been gently seeking from me in many ways, some quite subtle, and others not so much. One of those less subtle ways has been through my husband, Aaron. Not exactly in the, “Wives submit to your husbands” kind of submission, though that is some of it, but rather it has been through his constant ‘encouragements’ of various things in my life that need attending to, or resolutions that need follow through. One of those ‘encouragements’ has been that I start a blog, since he has garnered much joy and release from it, and since I have been known to write before. I being the sweet, submissive wife and woman that I am, of course, denied his request mainly because I am stubborn and do not like having decisions or suggestions made for me.
It wasn’t until I finished reading a historical fiction series on the story of Leah, Rachel, and Jacob (today), that I was ready and willing to submit to my husband’s humble and earnest request, partly because I know he loves me and has my best interests at heart, but mainly because I realized that it was God, speaking through Aaron, that was making this request. God desired me to write again and begin to release what has been storing in my soul for so long.
I am viewing this blog as God’s desire to bring healing to me through the catharsis of journaling. Yes, this is very public, and that is part of the process. As I find healing and draw closer to God, family, friends, and myself, I believe that God may use my words to shed light into someone else’s hurting heart and be able to draw them closer to Himself.
The title of my blog, I humbly draw from the first book in Liz Curtis Higgs series. These books have been a blessing to me and I can’ wait to share some of the insight I have gleaned. Just as Paul first begged God to remove the thorn from his side and then abided with it in God, I too have a thorn. It is a blessing and a curse, but truly a gift. The thorn in my heart is a love that flows from God allowing me to love fiercely and feel deeply for and with others. I pray that I abide in God as He calls me forth to bare my soul, submitting all I am before Him and His beloved children.